It's no wonder the neighbors cringe and turn away when they see Mom coming. They've got to think she's certifiably insane. Why, just today she was puttering around outside, in her "Sunday best" sweatpants with the big hole in the rear end, muttering to herself and shrieking every time she saw what might be a bee. And last night she forgot all the windows were open and serenaded the neighborhood with a spirited round of "Greens and Goodies", our night-night song. I would blush crimson with shame, but you couldn't see it anyway what with my thick velvety fur.
Mom thought Granny was bad when she crooned lovingly to the forsythia bush as she whacked it near to the ground. I have to say, between the two of them, Mom's the most embarrassing. At least Granny can claim to be "elderly", which automatically gives her the right to be eccentric and crotchety. Mom has no such excuse. She's just bats.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Well, it's about time!
Finally! I am reunited with my adoring public! It's been a long, rough, few months. Mom has been preoccupied with that thing called "school", and you know what that means. Kenzie and I get shunted to the back of the bus.
It's not all bad. Mom was way too busy to notice our project, the one where we tunneled underneath the sofa and ate our way up inside the springs. And she didn't even catch us using it as a litter box. Sure, she might have commented that the living room smelled a little "sharp", but that's as far as it went before she had her nose stuck back in the books again.
But now the semester is over, and Mom has the time, if not the energy, to make the rounds of the house, "mitigating the damage" as she likes to say. What that means in plain bunny speak is "Let's take away the bunnies' fun!" Granny came over and the two of them set to work with a hammer and nails and some chicken wire, and a big loud sucky thing called a "carpet cleaner", and next thing you know that sofa is shining brightly and locked up as tight as Fort Knox. No way a curious bunny can so much as squeeze one paw beneath it now.
We are resourceful little bunnies and we still have our secret hideaways, like the back of the coat closet, for now anyway. Mom's only taking one class this summer so she has grand ambitions of spring cleaning the whole house, and she's bound to stumble upon a few surprises. We'll keep you posted!
It's not all bad. Mom was way too busy to notice our project, the one where we tunneled underneath the sofa and ate our way up inside the springs. And she didn't even catch us using it as a litter box. Sure, she might have commented that the living room smelled a little "sharp", but that's as far as it went before she had her nose stuck back in the books again.
But now the semester is over, and Mom has the time, if not the energy, to make the rounds of the house, "mitigating the damage" as she likes to say. What that means in plain bunny speak is "Let's take away the bunnies' fun!" Granny came over and the two of them set to work with a hammer and nails and some chicken wire, and a big loud sucky thing called a "carpet cleaner", and next thing you know that sofa is shining brightly and locked up as tight as Fort Knox. No way a curious bunny can so much as squeeze one paw beneath it now.
We are resourceful little bunnies and we still have our secret hideaways, like the back of the coat closet, for now anyway. Mom's only taking one class this summer so she has grand ambitions of spring cleaning the whole house, and she's bound to stumble upon a few surprises. We'll keep you posted!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
*YAWN*
Mom wants to know why I start throwing a fit around 5:30, clamoring to be released from my pen to run free...
...but after she drags herself out of bed to let me out, the first thing I do is run into the living room and LAY DOWN!
heh heh
Monday, January 30, 2012
Havoc!
Kenzie and I have had free run of the house now for about a week, while Mom digs out from under an avalanche of homework. Never mind the dishwasher overflowing with dirty coffee mugs, or the dining room floor buried under a mountain of unfolded laundry. And I'd advise you to avoid the bathroom unless you have a strong stomach. You've heard of drain clogs? Mom's got the equivalent of a small badger crammed down the sink.
It's not her fault, she'll tell you. How's she supposed to keep up with housework while attempting to decipher thirty pages of 9-point single spaced roughly translated French transgenre prose poetry? Who can expect her to worry about poop patrol when faced with diagramming two chapters of linguistic symbolism? There's only so much one human can do, she protests, as she sobs a little and shuffles to the bathroom, still in her ratty PJs.
Kenzie and I have bravely soldiered on. We appreciate that Mom's too distracted to care about a slight slippage in our litter habits. That pile of Orchard Grass in the living room? Looks just fine from where we're sitting. And it will take Mom at least another week to notice the missing foot on her favorite doll. We figure we're safe at least until the end of the semester. Go Mom go!
It's not her fault, she'll tell you. How's she supposed to keep up with housework while attempting to decipher thirty pages of 9-point single spaced roughly translated French transgenre prose poetry? Who can expect her to worry about poop patrol when faced with diagramming two chapters of linguistic symbolism? There's only so much one human can do, she protests, as she sobs a little and shuffles to the bathroom, still in her ratty PJs.
Kenzie and I have bravely soldiered on. We appreciate that Mom's too distracted to care about a slight slippage in our litter habits. That pile of Orchard Grass in the living room? Looks just fine from where we're sitting. And it will take Mom at least another week to notice the missing foot on her favorite doll. We figure we're safe at least until the end of the semester. Go Mom go!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Better late than never
Finally! At last I am reunited with my adoring public! Mom has been hogging the computer lately. Something about "essays" and "research papers" and nonsense like that. I can't get a word in edgewise! I will be glad when this semester is over and I have been reinstated to my rightful position as King of the Keyboard!
In other news, it's Christmas, which means piles and piles of presents! Kenzie and I enjoy exploring the mountain of loot, occasionally adding our own special touch to the wrappings. Most of the gifts are addressed to my human cousin, Armando, but there are a couple near the back with MY name on them! Well, Kenzie and my name both. We have to share.
Speaking of sharing, we're still scraping by with just the one Christmas stocking. You would think by now Mom would have gotten around to stitching up one for each of us, but no. Mom has SEVEN of her own stockings hanging around the dining room. She SAYS they're just for decoration and she doesn't really expect Santa to fill them all, but I've seen her eyes glowing with greed as she surveys them.
Speaking of greed, Santa will be lucky to get a plate full of crumbs this Christmas Eve, with the way Mom's been inhaling the Christmas cookies. She doesn't share those, either. Occasionally Kenzie can persuade her to part with a nibble or two. Kenzie's a big fan of oatmeal raisin. I'll stick with my raspberry hay cakes.
In other news, it's Christmas, which means piles and piles of presents! Kenzie and I enjoy exploring the mountain of loot, occasionally adding our own special touch to the wrappings. Most of the gifts are addressed to my human cousin, Armando, but there are a couple near the back with MY name on them! Well, Kenzie and my name both. We have to share.
Speaking of sharing, we're still scraping by with just the one Christmas stocking. You would think by now Mom would have gotten around to stitching up one for each of us, but no. Mom has SEVEN of her own stockings hanging around the dining room. She SAYS they're just for decoration and she doesn't really expect Santa to fill them all, but I've seen her eyes glowing with greed as she surveys them.
Speaking of greed, Santa will be lucky to get a plate full of crumbs this Christmas Eve, with the way Mom's been inhaling the Christmas cookies. She doesn't share those, either. Occasionally Kenzie can persuade her to part with a nibble or two. Kenzie's a big fan of oatmeal raisin. I'll stick with my raspberry hay cakes.
Friday, September 16, 2011
A real trooper
Kenzie was a perfect angel today. She endured the poking and prodding like a champ, and the vet didn't even need to sedate her for the X-rays. Her pelvis and spine look perfectly normal. There's no evidence of previous injury, and no damage to the vertebrae or disks. Which is great news on the one hand, but doesn't shed any light on the cause of her semi-paralysis.
I was just glad it was Kenzie on the hot seat instead of me. I didn't even begrudge her the extra slice of banana she scored after the exam. I did not appreciate it when the vet put the two of us on the floor so she could evaluate our gaits, and Kenzie decided that would be a good time to mount me. HER, mounting ME. It's supposed to be the other way around! Oh, my battered dignity.
So Kenzie's condition is still a mystery, and one that's unlikely to be solved anytime soon, at least without benefit of a bunny MRI. The vet said that would run close to a thousand dollars, and might be just as inconclusive as the X-rays. So for the time being, we're going to watch and wait. It might be months before Kenzie has another episode, or maybe *paws crossed* she never will.
Now we are back home, and Kenzie is soothing her frayed nerves with a heaping helping of timothy hay, fresh from the new bale. Granny brought it with her this morning. Granny also brought a big bag of birdseed, which I am eager to get my little jaws around. Mom is in the bedroom taking a nap, "sleeping off the stress" she says, as if SHE was the one getting manhandled today! She says, "It's harder on me than it is on you," which I don't believe for one minute. Neither does Kenzie.
I was just glad it was Kenzie on the hot seat instead of me. I didn't even begrudge her the extra slice of banana she scored after the exam. I did not appreciate it when the vet put the two of us on the floor so she could evaluate our gaits, and Kenzie decided that would be a good time to mount me. HER, mounting ME. It's supposed to be the other way around! Oh, my battered dignity.
So Kenzie's condition is still a mystery, and one that's unlikely to be solved anytime soon, at least without benefit of a bunny MRI. The vet said that would run close to a thousand dollars, and might be just as inconclusive as the X-rays. So for the time being, we're going to watch and wait. It might be months before Kenzie has another episode, or maybe *paws crossed* she never will.
Now we are back home, and Kenzie is soothing her frayed nerves with a heaping helping of timothy hay, fresh from the new bale. Granny brought it with her this morning. Granny also brought a big bag of birdseed, which I am eager to get my little jaws around. Mom is in the bedroom taking a nap, "sleeping off the stress" she says, as if SHE was the one getting manhandled today! She says, "It's harder on me than it is on you," which I don't believe for one minute. Neither does Kenzie.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
One more day
So Mom is getting nervous. Tomorrow morning Kenzie sees the vet for spinal X-rays, and Mom is wondering how that works. I mean, Kenzie isn't going to just lie there quietly while they stretch her out and snap away. So how WILL they get our girl to cooperate? Mom is envisioning all sorts of gruesome scenarios. She made the appointment for 8:30 in the morning so Kenzie would have all day to recover and hopefully forgive Mom for the ordeal!
In other news, Mom finished her first paper for school. Well, *I* finished it, is more like it. She counts on me to channel her creative muse. It was a fascinating two page study of the strategies of effective technical communication. Okay, it wasn't fascinating, it was dull as dirt. "Just as long as I get an A," Mom says. She's been really enjoying school lately, now that she dropped that horrendous Mathematical Reasoning class.
Mom was all excited the other day when she saw another student who was as old as her! "Everybody thinks I'm a member of the faculty," she complains. "I'm old enough to be the faculty's mother!" That's only a slight exaggeration. She's pretty old. She says I have no room to talk, seeing as I am pushing the upper bounds of senior citizenship myself. But everyone knows we rabbits age much more gracefully than humans.
She also got three new assignments with the newspaper, which bodes well for our grocery budget. Mom is getting tired of cold cereal and peanut butter and jelly. She had to buy us a supplemental bag of hay while waiting for our bale to arrive. $10 for a tiny little bag! She says we'd better cherish every bite.
In other news, Mom finished her first paper for school. Well, *I* finished it, is more like it. She counts on me to channel her creative muse. It was a fascinating two page study of the strategies of effective technical communication. Okay, it wasn't fascinating, it was dull as dirt. "Just as long as I get an A," Mom says. She's been really enjoying school lately, now that she dropped that horrendous Mathematical Reasoning class.
Mom was all excited the other day when she saw another student who was as old as her! "Everybody thinks I'm a member of the faculty," she complains. "I'm old enough to be the faculty's mother!" That's only a slight exaggeration. She's pretty old. She says I have no room to talk, seeing as I am pushing the upper bounds of senior citizenship myself. But everyone knows we rabbits age much more gracefully than humans.
She also got three new assignments with the newspaper, which bodes well for our grocery budget. Mom is getting tired of cold cereal and peanut butter and jelly. She had to buy us a supplemental bag of hay while waiting for our bale to arrive. $10 for a tiny little bag! She says we'd better cherish every bite.
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