Nervous Nellie

*I* am not the one who's nervous. I am fearless Freddie! But Mom is pacing the floor and twisting her hair into little knots. All because I am having surgery tomorrow to remove my bladder stone and clean out my sludge. I will spend the day in a blissful drug-induced stupor, while Mom chews her fingernails down to the bone and stress-eats a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Maybe even two pints. (She's done it before...)

An apple a day...

Bristly bark jostling within the jowls,  mounds of succulent foliage melting in the mouth, the tenderest of tendrils tickling my tongue...It's not every day I wax poetic about a mid-morning snack! Of course, it's not every day that Granny sends home the mother of all apple branches. The thing weighed more than Mom (and that's saying something!) Granny and Mom rather naively assumed that a snack of this stature would take Kenzie and me two, maybe three days to devour. HAH! We reduced that stick to the size of a toothpick in two hours flat. Nothing left but some sawdust...

Speaking of DUST, it's been a while since Mom dragged out the noisy sucky thing in a feeble attempt to make our surroundings more habitable. She's the most marginal of housekeepers on her best day, and   trust us, she doesn't have many of those. We are used to it by now, the billowing cloud of debris that surrounds us with every step. Far be it from Kenzie and me to complain about the noxious fumes that assault our senses daily. Sure, Mom can claim "asthma" when faced with the onerous ordeal of climbing, say, six steps. But let a couple of long-suffering house bunnies simply SUGGEST that a full scale overhaul of our living environment is in order, and we're treated with all the respect one might afford an annoying ant. Or an annoying AUNT.

So we soldier on, Kenzie and me, and bear our burdens bravely. Scrumptious snacks help take the sting out of our squalor. There's not much apple tree left, and Granny wants it all gone. She says maybe she should just set us to work on the stump, and save her hours of back-breaking labor. I'm all for it. We are more than up for the challenge. But not right now. Right now we've got full tummies and a cozy hideaway under the bed, and the rain is gently falling, and the furnace is percolating, and the only thing we're up for is a long nap.

*blush*

Mom has a new habit. She will pounce on me while I am peacefully snoozing, and bury her face in my fur, and mutter all kinds of nonsense like, "Oh, my widdle Freddie Weddie, my precious widdle lovie bunny!" and cover me with all kinds of syrupy kisses. It's embarrassing, I tell you. No dignity. Kenzie escapes most of the carnage because she stays safely under the bed, and Mom doesn't fit under there. But I prefer to relax in the open air, and that's when Mom pounces!

You may have been wondering where I've been for the last three or four, or five, months (flashes accusing glare at Mom). It's all her fault. She has been obsessed with her silly schoolwork and hasn't left me any computer time whatsoever. I have been stewing in my own creative juices since...well, my last blog entry was OCTOBER. So that will tell you something about Mom and her ability to SHARE the computer.

So between dodging Mom's attacks attention, and fighting with her for access to the keyboard, I haven't gotten a lot of writing done. She promises to make it up to me. So stay tuned, and if you can think of any helpful hints for me to make myself less irresistible (tough job, I know), pass them along. AACCKK!! Here she comes again.....!!